大三

大三

写下这个标题,没有被迫离去的不情愿,没有又升一级的感慨。

去上学对我来说已经是一种不可避免的现实,疏懒了一个暑假的骨头,也该活动活动了。

一个半月,过得比上一次又要快许多,很多意料不到的事发生。

头疼不想叙述怎么过的,反正都差不多。

刚刚和娘亲吃饭的时候气氛其实已经变了,我装淡定躲过。对于这类眼神动作的前兆,我太了解了。

老爹再三打电话回来告诫我要一门心思搞好专业,只能嗯嗯的答应着,除此之外我什么都说不出来。

这次回来很少和他们讲话,所以老爹觉得我意志消沉,斗志全无。

事实是,我默默地想过很长时间仍不得解,就只能这么耗着。

后来我发现我是无意识地在等他们来管我(当下开始鄙视自己),给我压力或是小小的指点。

哎哟,笑死我了,你什么时候开始照着他们的安排做事了。你只是想太多厌烦了。

还有他们,以前在学习上从不给你选择,如今倒开始放任了。

然而无论怎样,娘亲都会在我离开的前一天做点好菜,即使前一天连饭都没得吃。

老爹也会在刚刚还打个电话要我明早不要睡过头,问我现在在干什么。

青山说,大人都这样。所以才可爱啊。反而是我自己,倒像个老头子般在这念叨。

时刻处在羡慕简单生活却被迫细致思考的焦虑中,被所到之处的各种牛人震撼着,为自己的浅薄无知焦躁懒惰而羞愧。

可恨的是,想开了放手自如了却在以后还不断重犯这些纠结病。

我真的是个纠结到不可救药的人吧。

但是有一天,我会好起来的。

29,494 thoughts on “大三

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